For most who have arrived at this stage, they will have had no preparation for the alternative sexual orientations that life can deal out. Such is the failing of society, for around one in ten males will turn out to be gay, and around one in five males will at some time in their lives have gay sex. Each one of these people will be some proud parent's son. They could be anyone's son. These are facts that may be hard to accept by some people, but to life itself they are the "normal". Sexual orientation is not hereditary, neither can it be instilled by corruption, persuasion, lifestyle or by any other means – and no matter what anyone may tell you, or claim, it most definitely cannot be changed. It is what you are. Were it to be any different, then in a vastly heterosexual society, and with few gay people actually reproducing, by long before now there would have been no gay people left in the world. But it is a known fact that the percentage of homosexual people in the world has varied little throughout all history, and although we may yet not understand the reason for it, nature has seen fit to maintain this status quo. We now come to the crunch question: how do I know if I am gay? I suppose the simple answer is – you just know. But you do need to wait until all those hormones have settled down a bit before asking the question. Once that has happened the sexual desires and urges will be noticeably better fed and nourished by the thoughts and fantasies of either one or the other of the two sexes. Crudely put: whatever makes you “cum” the easiest and the best will give you the answer. For just a few people this may be equal, or it may alternate continuously throughout their lives, and they are what we term as being: bisexual. Gay, straight or bisexual, it matters not – you are you, and you are unique. Whatever sexuality you may be, no two people are ever exactly the same - not even identical twins. Be proud of who and what you are, and if you find that you are gay or bisexual then remember that that is quite normal in the great scheme of things, it is only some areas of society that still have a problem with this – and the problem is theirs, not yours.
There is nothing at all wrong with being gay, however it does come with some burdens that heterosexuals never have to face. There is the gay scene – known by all to be notoriously promiscuous – and although it is representative of less than a quarter of all gay people it is what a gay person will always be seen as being a part of by many uninformed heterosexual people. Then there is the whole "coming out" saga. Should you come out to family and friends, at work, to all and sundry, or not do it at all? Facing up to this issue can be traumatic for some people - and whatever you finally decide on as being best for you, even staying "in the closet", it will not be without some implications.
The author works on Auckland fishing charters and house inspection and he is a member at http://plumbergasfitting.co.nz/
